olde_fashioned: (JA -- MP -- Fanny)
[personal profile] olde_fashioned
I have just finished watching ITV's skeleton of Jane Austen's Mansfield Park. I am most seriously displeased. I am now going to bring out my sarcastic weapons without any apologetic restraints and wield them with utter ferocity in the general direction of whoever is responsible of ruining this story. Do not read this tirade review if you are an ardent fan of this movie. (although I do not see how any could exist, haha) They seem to have kept the names and changed the rest. Why bother to adapt something if you're not going to tell the story properly???? Grrrrrrr…

I knew I would not like Billie Piper the moment the cast list was released and I saw her picture. Without seeming to “judge a book by its cover” she is not at all period-looking or suitably “meek” or sweet or downtrodden enough to play Fanny Price. At least Jane Austen’s Fanny, that is. I was left with the distinct impression that somewhere along the line, PBS was given the wrong tape and we were subjected to some non-Austen contraption designed to torture and confuse the viewer.

What was with the HAIR in this movie? Fanny has a bleach job (and a bad one at that!) while Tom and Henry looked like something a cat would drag in. Edmund’s hair was plastered to his head like he hadn’t taken a bath in weeks. And makeup? Lipstick?? *fans self*



Was Billie Piper’s idea of showing Fanny’s goodness and sweetness to run around all the time falling out of her dress, flailing her arms about like a crazy woman who thinks she was a chicken in another life? And that wheezing laugh of hers. Is that supposed to be endearing and sympathetic?? Where is Fanny’s heart? Her inner struggles, her moral convictions, her desire to be good, honest, and truthful? There was no emotion at all, and there was no drama -- unless you count confusion! I am so grateful that I had HAPPENED TO READ THE BOOK so that I knew what the heck was going on. I think the filmmakers were even more confused than their audience, sadly. Tom declares that “Fanny is the best girl alive” but what makes her so? There is nothing in the movie to indicate anything other than she likes running around with her mouth open, and watching people behind curtains. The latter worked for Colin Firth as Darcy, but I have yet to see anyone pull off the former with any success.

We were never given a clear reason of why Fanny dislikes Henry so much, other than his previous attentions to Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee. (whoops, sorry -- I meant Maria and Julia). We don’t even know in a timely manner about Maria’s sin, or at all about Julia’s elopement, and how “Maria’s guilt induced Julia’s folly.” We are never allowed the crucial visit to Portsmouth where Henry goes and visits Fanny. We never even see Mr. Price and the rest of Fanny’s family.

The dancing scene for Fanny’s birthday was frustrating! The Waltz is not period correct! Gahh!!! I guess ITV didn’t want to go to all the added expense of fitting up a ballroom for a proper Regency ball since they spent all of their budget on getting period-correct hairstyles. I suppose they thought we, the ignorant audience, would enjoy a springtime frolic out on the grass where all the servants gather to gawk? The Bertrams have holdings in Antigua, and yet they cannot afford more than one measly fiddler to play music. The request of the song Portsmouth was an interesting choice, because of Fanny, but it is not the Portsmouth I am familiar with on my English Country Dancing CD. But perhaps there are two different versions. I really thought we might get a nice dance with candlelight and Tom getting away from his aunt’s card table and seeing Fanny’s “glossy spot” dress but alas, we are doomed to have a picnic.

The only thing I liked was the casting of Edmund, which surprised even myself. I thought he did a good job with what he was given, and in portraying Edmund in a less-than-clueless way. I think the character of Edmund would be easy to screw up. Did anyone else think the actor’s voice sounded like Paul Bettany’s? (oooh, there’s an idea. Stephen Maturin in a Jane Austen movie! Why not? We already got Mr. Pullings and Worley. hee hee. Anyone with the last name of “D‘Arcy“ simply HAS to be in a JA adaptation at least once…)

Speaking of which, what is wrong with a little RESEARCH???? William wasn’t allowed to wear his uniform when not on duty!!! It was all over the novel! (note to ITV filmmakers: there is this nice book called “Mansfield Park” -- you might not have heard of it, but you really should make an effort to read it sometime)

Mary Crawford was tolerable, I suppose, but only because everyone else was so bad! Was she trying to hitch-hike and get a ride from Edmund by showing her leg like that??? (my initial reaction was that she was a prostitute, and if I did not know the story in advance, I would have believed that throughout the duration of the film) Maybe that was how she was asking him to take her riding, because the first clue we get of that is seeing her perched atop a horse, YET AGAIN clad in red. I think the costumers believe that stupid, age-old cliché that only bad women wear red, and lots of it. Hmph. I was amusing myself by trying to decide who was showing more cleavage, Fanny or Mary. *snort*

Mrs. Norris? Hellooooo she was the evil stepmother aunt! Where was all of her abuse of Fanny? Where was her evil, cruel, devastating remarks to Fanny about her being undeserving? Where was her preferential treatment of Maria? Where was her matchmaking with the aforementioned spoiled brat and The Idiotic Dolt aka Mr. Rushworth? (I also thought she was too young, but that is just a personal preference.)

The music was a strange combination of I-don’t-know-what with an almost comedic element to it. I felt like I was supposed to seeing something funny or witty before me, when all I saw was a random selection of Cliff’s Notes: The Mansfield Park Edition. Poor Jane is probably rolling over in her grave. Either that or laughing her head off at ITV.

Oh yes! I almost forgot. The most flawless element in the entire film? The brilliantly inspired and truly moving performance of Pug.

Date: 2008-01-29 02:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] midenianscholar.livejournal.com
I'm not too bad. I'll add it and see if my parents have seen it, to supervise it. (They did that for The Patriot, too.) And I did...decently with Schindler's List.

Lol. Okay. I can deal with that. Remotes are handy.

Date: 2008-01-29 02:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] olde-fashioned.livejournal.com
I think it's pretty comprable to The Patriot, and nobody gets bathed in blood like Mel Gibson so it might not even be as bad! lol. But the uniforms and costumes are great, IMVHO, but the scenery and music take the cake.

I haven't seen Schindler's List.

Yup! It's just kind of awkward and too long and "breath-y" and all that sort of stuff. But everybody's clothes stay on, lol. (oh, but the Indians run around in loincloths. Will that bother you?)

Date: 2008-01-29 02:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] midenianscholar.livejournal.com
Okay. I think I can take that.

It's good. It's one of those movies you only need to watch once, and which is good but extremely painful. It's about a man who ends up being the unlikely hero, and saving several people from the holocaust. There are a few inappropriate, unrelated edgy lovey scenes, if you catch my drift. But it is good. Life is Beautiful still stands as the best holocaust movie in my book. *tear* And I have several other movies and books that are good and not so... watch-everyone-die-with-no-mercy-from-the-camera-man as Schindler's, if you're at all interested. (I studied it a lot this past year. Was not a pleasant study.)

Oh, I highly recommend anything about Dietrich Bonhoeffer. He was a German preacher, and one of a group who attempted to assassinate Hitler. He is amazing--I really want to read some of his work on the church. I saw a documentary with a few of his quotes, and he was a very deep and spiritual man, with a great and real passion for the church and the church's faults.

No, loincloths don't bother me. I'm pretty good with that sort of stuff. (Hey, remember, I'm the one that defends nude artwork.)

Date: 2008-01-29 05:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] olde-fashioned.livejournal.com
Good!

Oh, I know what it's about, that's part of the reason I'm not hankerin' to see it. I don't like depressing movies. I didn't even finish Hotel Rowanda. Too saaaaaad.

Okay, I'll try to keep that in mind.

True enough! I always cringe when they fly up but I think they're wearing pants underneath.

Date: 2008-01-29 03:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] midenianscholar.livejournal.com
Hotel Rowanda: *tear* That was one of the reasons my dad hated Clinton (erm. politics, sorry). My uncle was allowed to fly over the sites and take pictures, but that was all the military was given permission to do.

But, yeah, I understand not wanting to watch sad movies. I am often forced into them. (Wit is amazing though--perfect for anyone who admires the English language. Vivian Bearing (who I really like) is the main actress, and I think she wrote the script.)

lol. I once got a photography book at the library and was looking over it with my cousin from a Very, Very, Very, Very Conservative and Rather Raise-Our-Nose Family. It was a book of National Geographic imagines (which are glorious--a mixture of historic events, beauty, an nature). Some of the images were of African women (middle-aged) without tops on, because that was their culture. My cousin was very embarrassed and trying to turn the page on me while I studied the women's faces, which were worn but smiling. I gave her the It's Their Culture So Deal With It lecture. Though when there's things like that in photography that isn't with the culture--Well, I think you can capture the beauty of a woman with all her clothes on, thank you. [/long lecture]

Date: 2008-01-29 10:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] olde-fashioned.livejournal.com
No, that's alright. We didn't (and still don't!!) like the Clintons, either.

It depends on the sadness, for me. Movies that like to make you sad for no other reason that being "artistic" and political I don't like. But I think S&S is sad, but it has a happy ending.

Oh, that. Yeah. It's a little different when it's no big deal to them as opposed to naughty soft-porn images that some photographers take just for the shock value. (i.e. ads in Vogue, etc.)

Date: 2008-01-29 11:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] midenianscholar.livejournal.com
Good! :)

Yes. I like the happy, noble sort of sad. Not the, "I can break your heart by being merciless to my characters!" sad. (You should see Wit. You would really, really like it. It's the actress from S&S.)

Agreed. *pats poor Brookie (cousin)*

Date: 2008-01-30 08:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] olde-fashioned.livejournal.com
Yes, exactly.

*looks it up* It sounds potentially depressing or else touchy-feely "stuff". Is it?

lol.

Date: 2008-01-30 04:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] midenianscholar.livejournal.com
It's very sad, but a good sort of sad, and it has some very sweet/witty parts in it. There is brief nudity because she's in the hospital the whole time, so there's at least once when there's a scene where the doctors are checking her out and it shows how business-like they are. But there is no romance at all.

Date: 2008-01-30 10:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] olde-fashioned.livejournal.com
What, no romance!!!??? Phooey!

Date: 2008-01-31 04:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] midenianscholar.livejournal.com
Pssh! A story that can make an intreging, sweet, insightful plot without romance is more artful than one that uses romance as a crutch. (Pardon me. I generally like books/movies where adventure/something else is the main thing, and you get a bit of romance on the side. *Shudders at the thought of all the Christian Romance Novels she was forced to read, where romance was (supposedly) the only thing moving the plot except it didn't work*)

Date: 2008-01-31 06:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] olde-fashioned.livejournal.com
I know, I know! I'm just being silly, mostly. And I agree that a story without romance is still good, but a romance without a story is not. ;-D

Have you ever tried Lauraine Snelling?

Date: 2008-01-31 03:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] midenianscholar.livejournal.com
:D Agreed.

Ummm... Nope, I haven't.

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