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olde_fashionedBut I simply couldn't resist. ;-) For those of you not familiar with The Republic of Pemberley, they have a very amusing board where people may post pretending to be fictional characters asking Pride & Prejudice's Lady Catherine de Bourgh for advice, rather like a Dear Abby column. Then others must reply as a Jane Austen character, any character from any of her stories other than Lady Catherine and Mr. Collins, and give silly advice back. It's quite humourous, and the other day I simply could not abandon the idea that popped into my head one day. ;-) I already posted this at RoP, but I'm sharing here for all of you to enjoy.
[Note: don't read this if you want to avoid spoilers for the book and mini series of North & South -- it's loaded with them!]
So! Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado, I bring you
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
To Lady Catherine de Bourgh
Dear Madam,
I am writing to inquire as to your opinion of what I ought to do in my present difficult romantic situation. I am quite out of my element in such matters as this that plagues me (caused by a woman, which is of course no surprise since women are at the bottom of every plague in this world). I certain young lady has recently moved into the vicinity, and despite my rather strong inclinations and certainty of her disliking me intensely, I have fallen completely in love with her. She has a regal bearing, a straight, fearless, dignified presence, and the way she wears her shawl is most becoming indeed, quite like an empress. I have already proposed to her, and was most cruelly refused.
My mother had encouraged me (against her own wishes, too) in the opinion that this lady in question had already publicly declared her feelings for me by attempting to rescue my person from bodily harm during a recent local crisis, but upon applying to the lady herself the next day I found quite a different situation than the one I had expected. I am heartily convinced that certain company the lady keeps (for she is quite fond of several members of our local working class) must have biased her against me with their rude ways and opinions, or else this certain lawyer Lennox I have heard mention of must have already secured her affections. I have even resorted to fruit but to no avail.
I would request that you reply to this missive via my enclosed address at my place of business, Malborough Mills, since I would that this matter be kept as private as possible. My mother, while aware of my feelings, is as yet unaware of this letter (though it will not be long before she finds it out) but my sister is entirely without any suspicions of any kind due to her fondness for visiting the local draper's and I should like to keep it so.
I am not in the habit of applying for advice to anyone save my most excellent mother, (being quite successful in the cotton industry and a local magistrate) but your own reputation, as a most ready and willing advisor, has traveled a good deal northward and reached my ears. I thank you in advance for your time and pray you might suggest a solution to my present agony, or else I might be obliged to forget this lady and get over my foolish passion for her entirely.
Your etc.,
John Thornton
Malborough Mills
Milton, Darkshire
[Note: don't read this if you want to avoid spoilers for the book and mini series of North & South -- it's loaded with them!]
So! Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado, I bring you
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
To Lady Catherine de Bourgh
Dear Madam,
I am writing to inquire as to your opinion of what I ought to do in my present difficult romantic situation. I am quite out of my element in such matters as this that plagues me (caused by a woman, which is of course no surprise since women are at the bottom of every plague in this world). I certain young lady has recently moved into the vicinity, and despite my rather strong inclinations and certainty of her disliking me intensely, I have fallen completely in love with her. She has a regal bearing, a straight, fearless, dignified presence, and the way she wears her shawl is most becoming indeed, quite like an empress. I have already proposed to her, and was most cruelly refused.
My mother had encouraged me (against her own wishes, too) in the opinion that this lady in question had already publicly declared her feelings for me by attempting to rescue my person from bodily harm during a recent local crisis, but upon applying to the lady herself the next day I found quite a different situation than the one I had expected. I am heartily convinced that certain company the lady keeps (for she is quite fond of several members of our local working class) must have biased her against me with their rude ways and opinions, or else this certain lawyer Lennox I have heard mention of must have already secured her affections. I have even resorted to fruit but to no avail.
I would request that you reply to this missive via my enclosed address at my place of business, Malborough Mills, since I would that this matter be kept as private as possible. My mother, while aware of my feelings, is as yet unaware of this letter (though it will not be long before she finds it out) but my sister is entirely without any suspicions of any kind due to her fondness for visiting the local draper's and I should like to keep it so.
I am not in the habit of applying for advice to anyone save my most excellent mother, (being quite successful in the cotton industry and a local magistrate) but your own reputation, as a most ready and willing advisor, has traveled a good deal northward and reached my ears. I thank you in advance for your time and pray you might suggest a solution to my present agony, or else I might be obliged to forget this lady and get over my foolish passion for her entirely.
Your etc.,
John Thornton
Malborough Mills
Milton, Darkshire
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no subject
Date: 2008-05-05 01:30 am (UTC)BTW, it's pretty off topic, but it popped in my head. When you read N&S did you mentally picture Richard Armitage and Daniela Denby-Ashe?
I was randomly thinking of how movies/mini-series change how I think of a character.
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Date: 2008-05-05 07:25 am (UTC)Yessssss.....I confess I do. Usually, if I like a movie's portrayal or if it agrees with my mental image of the character, then I allow myself to picture them while reading. I did not, obviously, when I first read it because I had not seen it, but I've reread bits and imagined them as RA and DDA. What about you?
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Date: 2008-05-05 01:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-05 07:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-05 02:12 am (UTC)I like how you included little details that really shape the character. I also enjoyed the constant mention of his mother xD
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Date: 2008-05-05 07:27 am (UTC)He is rather a borderline mamma's boy, isn't he? Not that that's a bad thing.
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Date: 2008-05-05 02:14 am (UTC)I believe I may have some valuable advice for you. I consider myself an expert on marriage, since I was married long before my other sisters! And me--the youngest of them all! Giggle! Oh la! did I write that! How silly of me! Giggle! Giggle! I do love writing letters. My dear Wickham writes the most handsome letters! Everyone in town agrees, and we all are so charmed when he sends us even the smallest note while he is away. I declare there is no one more popular in all of England than my dear Wickham is with all of his friends! He is quite the little busybody! Though sometimes we do run short of money, so if you ever find you just have a little bit excess, do send some to us, your dear friends and advisers.
But, now, what was I saying? Oh, yes! My dear Mr. Thornton--you must lose the cravat. I know that my sister accepted her husband's proposal at last only because he found her mucking about in the muddy fields before dawn, and he in nothing but breeches, coat and nightshirt! Lord, how I laughed when I heard!
Now, I do not suppose you are quite as desperate as Mr. Darcy--hunting her down and waiting for just the right minute, and sticking his hands in cold water so she would be concerned!--but I do suggest you "happen" upon your lady without the cravat at least. Perhaps you might also want to leave a button undone. Run a hand through your hair, and look distressed--but in the most casual way, not seeming to notice or care that your beloved stands right there. No woman can resist a disselved, angst-filled, handsome gentleman! My dear Wickham says the same, and he knows! La! I never think he is quite so handsome but when he returns from a long day of working.
Keep us in your thoughts if you ever have money to spare! I wish you as much happiness as me and my dear Wickham already have. There cannot be a couple in the world any more in love! Giggle!
Sincerely,
Lydia Wickham
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Date: 2008-05-05 07:28 am (UTC)Did you see Lydia in Cranford?
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Date: 2008-05-05 02:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-05 05:41 pm (UTC)Robert MartinMajor Gordon. ;-)no subject
Date: 2008-05-05 02:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-05 07:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-05 03:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-05 07:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-05 01:19 pm (UTC)It's beautifully acted with all kinds of little gems about her writing especially as she gives advise to her cousin on love and marriage.
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Date: 2008-05-05 04:22 pm (UTC)http://olde-fashioned.livejournal.com/56680.html#cutid1
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Date: 2008-05-05 07:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-09 06:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-09 09:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-10 12:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-16 07:08 pm (UTC)That made me laugh so hard.
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Date: 2008-06-17 04:45 am (UTC)